Criticism vs. Feedback

I’m chatting with one of my team members about a new workshop a client requested to address some public speaking delivery challenges on their team.

The client had the usual hit list: vocal fillers, eye contact—classic. We’re having a blast unpacking the why behind the infamous “umms” and “likes” and brainstorming strategies to neutralize them. We dive into eye contact—how to make it natural instead of either staring someone down like an interrogation or avoiding it altogether like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower.

And then I take a beat and say: “HOLD THE CANVA!”

We can’t just throw tips and tricks at this. We need to address why these habits show up in the first place.

At the core of so many public speaking struggles—especially the ones that appear at the top of a speech or presentation—is one word: DISCOMFORT.

I believe many people experience panic and dread around speaking because, at some formative moment in their lives, they were blasted, belittled, or bullied when they tried to use their voice.

And now, as adults, we have an opportunity to create a different experience for our colleagues, team members, and employees. It all comes down to how we offer reflections on their speaking—what they’re doing well and where they can grow.

And that’s where we need to make a critical distinction:

💨 Criticism vs. 🌱 Feedback

💨 Criticism – Think chain-smoking Eastern European ballet teacher: razor-sharp, unfiltered, and maybe technically right, but the delivery stings. It can feel cruel, condescending, or belittling—more about proving a point than uplifting a person. The intention might be to make you better, but it often lands as judgment … activating your biggest nemesis: your own inner critic.

🌱 Feedback – Think nourishing mentorship: direct and supportive, with a clear come-from of commitment to your growth. It’s not just about pointing out what’s wrong; it’s about illuminating what’s possible. It lands as a gift, not a gut punch.

One tears down. The other builds up. The impact makes all the difference.

So here’s your invitation: The next time you feel compelled to offer advice or coaching to a colleague or team member after a speech or presentation, follow these guidelines:

1️⃣ Ask for consent. “Are you open to receiving some feedback on your presentation?”
2️⃣ Start with what they did well. Be specific—call out techniques or tactics that landed.
3️⃣ Offer growth opportunities. One or two, no more than three.
4️⃣ Be specific about challenges—and offer solutions. Don’t just say “work on your eye contact.” Explain how.
5️⃣ End on an affirming note. My go-to? No one is perfect at public speaking—we’re all on a sliding scale of getting better. Keep up the good WERK!

Because the goal isn’t perfection. The goal is growth and CONNECTION!

So, what’s your take? Have you ever received feedback that truly helped you grow—or criticism that shut you down? Hit reply and tell me about it!

Fearlessly yours,

Eduardo